Out of all the ups and downs and questions and relentless night sweats/hair pulling/screaming/bad dreams/bad day dreams and doubts that go along with being a twentysomething in 2011, our relationship is one of the only things I am sure that I have done right. Did I pick the right major? Did I choose the right job? I have absolutely no idea. But I DO know that I picked the right guy.
I'm not sure how the decision to get married arises in other people's minds. I'm not even sure how it really hit us. All I know is one day I went from being myself to knowing that I would never be normal without him. I went from looking at him as a cute guy to looking at him and knowing I could never ever go a day without him. I still miss him the second he leaves and the "Hey, how is your day going?" calls from him still send my heart into some spastic, happy, cartwheelbackfliphighkick, emotionally crazed dance.
I remember falling in love with him. I was a barback/hostess at a Mexican restaurant and I had to wear a full mexican outfit...puffy, off-the-shoulder shirt tucked in to an ankle-length tablecloth looking skirt....oh, with tennis shoes. Yeah, I was pretty cute. I would seat my customers or help the servers with their tables and I had this stupid smile slapped on my face. I didn't care. I knew I looked like I was high or something but it didn't matter. I was falling head over heels for my future husband and that was all that mattered. Nevermind the fact that, in my
And it doesn't really ever leave now. Yes, I get PMS or I have a crap day at work. But the second I see that face or he cracks some joke I can barely even remember what was bothering me in the first place. Every single part of my life has been touched by his kindness and love and every single part is better for it.
I love my husband. I don't care if it annoys people or confuses people or whatever. I love him more than anything or anyone in the whole world. In a society that is trying to negate commitment and marraige...I would sign up again every day for the rest of my life (as long as I don't have to go through the whole wedding planning craze again! Ah!).
Before I got married, I wondered how it would work out. I worried about where we would live or if our passion would fade after we said, "I do." I wasn't sure we could take the stress of living together in a tiny apartment after only having a long distance relationship. There were so many thoughts running around in my head like tiny screaming banshee devils. You know what? What a joke. What a joke that I wasted so much time over stuff that ended up being irrelevant. Having said that, I should probably stop worrying about the screaming banshee devil chants now. They keep telling me we will get pregnant...with 8 kids. Or that our apartment will burn down. Or that we will develop some weird disease. Ok, not really. But you get the point. It will all work out...just like it always has. I know this because I have an excellent guy to go through life with.
Bear, I love you. I know you will read this when I text you the link and you will smile even though you won't comment on it/facebook because you hate social networking and that's okay. You're an internet recluse and I'm a real life recluse. haha ;) In any case, you are a superb gentleman. I fully believe that your love is limitless. I can't imagine you ever not forgiving or not loving me. I trust you completely to take care of me and I know that I can always count on you. In every way you have exceeded my expectations about love and what commitment means. Since the first (coherent) time I told you I loved you, I knew I could trust you to love me back and to treasure everything that we mean. You are the brightest spot in my life and when we have more money I fully intend to have 8 of your babies. :) I'm in love with doing life with you.
